Qwuedeviv Crew 52: This is the Last Chapter, Mew!

 I could only stand there and wait to see what would become of all this. Cedric was in the front yard—as he usually was. That’s where he parked his car you see. I had heard the car stop, then the door to said car shut. I assume it opened as well but I hadn’t heard that particular noise and don’t want to falsify this log.

 Spork glanced at me briefly before making its way around the corner of the house and tromping over anything that really got in its way at all. Some people were nature lovers. Spork was not. In fact Spork was more of the mindset of wipe everything clean planet side and start over. That kind of thinking often didn’t go over very well with the inhabitants.

 I scurried along behind Spork wordlessly. What was I gonna do to stop it from neutralizing the threat of Cedric? I mean sure Cedric was kind of a whiny individual and Earthian at that, but all things considered, he wasn’t a terrible guy. I kind of enjoyed his company and it really wasn’t very decent guest behavior to annihilate your host.

 “Oh, Spork, there’s like… a few things we didn’t fully go over.”

 It made something that sounded somewhere between a grunt and a growl but otherwise ignored me.

  “You see there’s this Earthian Human—”

 For a split second I thought I might have Spork’s attention. That split second vanished when Cedric started whistling. Spork’s ears went up and line of sight returned to the direction of the blissfully unaware Earthian Human.

 It was one of the times I wished Cedric actually had friends where he worked so that he could have stayed out later. Maybe gone to dinner or watched a movie with a female Earthian counterpart. But no, home early evening, just as he had said he would be. He was carrying an armful of luggage—looked to be some groceries and his tech stuff.

 Spork growled, its ears pinned down against its head and its eyes and gills began to glow with that weird whitish-pink light that seems to appear whenever Spork gets particularly disgruntled by something.

 “Spork, he’s not a threat. He let me stay at his home.”

 Spork was at least listening to me now. I could tell that by the fact it hissed quietly.

 “He’s been really nice to me.” I thought about that for a moment then shook my head. “I mean aside from the times he made me do the dishes and clean up the mess I’d made.”

 “Like a slave?” Another low growl. Was kind of impressive how Spork could still be understood yet never unclench its jaws or stop growling to do so.

 “Yes!” The lights show of glows resumed. “I mean no! No! Nothing like that! I—”

 A quizzical “Smiley?” from the house paused our discussion on the matter. Spork drew back into the cover of the tall tree-bush thing on the side of the house and then turned towards me.

 “You told it your name?”

 “Well yeah.” I whispered back.

 “Do you have a brain at all?”

 “What good is an invader name if you never get to use it?”

 Spork sighed. A hushed sigh since we were whispering and such.

 “What kind of resources does the Earthian have?”

 “A lot of canned food—”

 It slapped the back of my head with its tail.

 “Weapon and defense resources you worthless—”

 “Smiley!” That was Cedric again, being unintelligent and not noticing that it was odd for me not to be there at the door to confiscate all the tasty treats.

 “I don’t think he has weapons.” I whispered back as I tried to push my way in front of Spork while still staying in the cover it had found.

 “I wouldn’t trust you as an information source.” Its eyes narrowed as it locked on some nonexistent target in front of us. “But,” It unsheathed its black claws, “it’s dead either way.”

 Spork stood from its crouch and resumed walking towards the front door. I hurried to get along side of it, but it pushed me back with one paw and made me topple over backwards.

  “I’d keep a safe distance, Lieutenant. This might get ugly.” That of course ended in a growl.

 Cedric had presumably dropped off the groceries in the kitchen by now. My main basis for this guess was I could hear him going on about the paper that was still shredded all over the floor meaning his eyes could now see the floor. Really I had had full intentions of cleaning it up, I had just run across Spork in the meantime and that had sort of occupied my time.

 “Smiley!” I heard him shout, this time with a touch of impatience.

 Once I had picked myself up off the ground, my ears pinned down. Spork was far too close to the house entrance for my liking. With no real time to consult Command Center on the matter I darted ahead of Spork.

 “Negative on that, Spork!”

 It paused briefly, giving me a skeptical glare.

 “I’m going in solo on this.” Yeah, that sounded good. “Better umm…cover…stuff that way. He won’t suspect anything.”

 I’m pretty sure Spork was going to disagree with me but I decided to hurry away before I could hear its voiced disagreement. I had no clue how long it would be before it decided to come barging inside. That was inevitable. Spork was not very patient and tended to have an all sufficient I’ll Handle It, sort of attitude.

 Anyway until then I had bought my Human pal a few more minutes to run or something. Still wasn’t sure what the plan was once I told Cedric there was a monster here to eat him.

 Cedric was standing by some of the shredded papers when I made my way into the house. Great! At least I didn’t have to go searching for him.

 “You promised you were going to be good.” Cedric stated, his voice was kind of quieter than it normally was. He turned to face me then. “I trusted you.”

 “I swear I was going to clean this whole thing up.” My tail curled and swished back and forth—this was a bit urgent and he was making it difficult to get the info across properly.

 “You always say that and then you never do.”

 “Cedric. Seriously. Another time. We have more important things at the moment.”

 “More important things to do?” Cedric adjusted his glasses. He tends to do that when irritated amongst other reasons. Adjustment of glasses usually indicated he intended to speak his mind. Right now we didn’t have time for his mind to be spoken though. “Because clearly my opinion doesn’t matter anymore.”

 “That’s not what I—”

 “Well it certainly seems like it.”

 “Oh come on Cedric I—” I glanced back to check out the Spork situation for just a brief moment. By the time I was facing Cedric again I noticed he was holding something bottle shaped—wider at the bottom, narrowing at the top. Also had what appeared to be a trigger and nozzle system on the top—primitive in design, but I had already covered how primitive didn’t always mean ineffective.  

 “Uh…Cedric?”

 “You have a bad habit of not keeping your word. A person’s word should mean something—whether human or alien.”

 I took a hesitant step back. Cedric’s hand was hovering the trigger for the device and I had a feeling this would not be something I enjoyed.

 “Cedric, will you just listen to me?

 He smiled briefly. Something about the smile seemed off to me though, it was weak. “Of course Smiley, I always listen to what you have to say, but right now I need you to listen to me.” He took a step towards me. “I hate to do it to you, Kitty, but I think you’ll appreciate it later on.

 How about no. I highly doubted the likelihood of that statement. Sounded a lot like the things officers back home would say. Regardless it was a time sensitive matter and I was almost sure I heard something outside right then.

 I needed to seriously speed this up. Seemed Cedric couldn’t be reasoned with words so I was going to have to take yet another approach. I pinned my ears back, stared him down for a moment, then darted past him.

 He pulled back the trigger of the tool in hand and a thin stream of water shot out, striking the wall right beside me. I had feared as much. Cedric had found himself a primitive Earthian water launching device.

 I heard it hiss a couple more times as I made my way to the staircase and darted up without a second thought. Cedric was following behind me now. Earthian Humans weren’t all that fast and coordinated so it took him awhile to follow me up. It did give me a couple moments to plan my next move while I was waiting. Unfortunately I couldn’t think of a move worth planning.  Getting Cedric outside and safe from the top floor seemed unlikely.

 I flattened my ears to the sides just in time as another hiss of water sped by and splashed onto the wall beside me. Cedric had caught up by now so the chase resumed. I took a hard right and Cedric followed behind me. Now overlooking the floor below I noticed the door open briefly.

 Time was up. I ordered a full stop on the breaks and slid to a halt.

 “Cedric! You have to stop!” I hissed. Had to dodge yet another stream of water, then another, but I managed. “This is for your own good!”

 “This is for yours too.”

 Sometimes people just don’t listen to a word you’re saying. This was one of those times. I retreated down the east wing of the connecting second floor hall until I reached a dead-end. Now I hadn’t the slightest clue what to do, I hadn’t even made it through the part where I figured out why I had run up here to begin with.

 “Cedric no!” I held a paw in front of my face partially to ward the terrible stream of impending water, but also to try and show Cedric just how wrong this decision was. He was jeopardizing his own safety by confronting me as a Qwuedeviv. If Spork saw this…there wouldn’t be a thing I could do for the poor guy.

 Cedric held the bottle level though. Conflict was evident. He didn’t really want to pull the trigger.

 “Look, I know it seems like I’ve been rude and stuff, but trust me! I’m only trying to protect you!”

 “You always have excuses.” His finger tightened on the trigger. “I thought we were friends.”

 “We are!” I tried to push back further but I was already up against the wall with nowhere to run. “I swear by all great fish, I’m telling you the truth!”

 Cedric shook his head. That had not been the sign I was hoping for. It seemed are fates were set. There was no going back now. I may have been known to have exaggerated a fact or two in my life, but I assure you this was not one of those times.

 Almost on command, a dark form emerged from the shadows of the hall. Spork’s tattered ears and glowing eyes were visible over Cedric’s head. The Qwuedeviv moved silently towards us.  

 I felt my own mouth drop open as my tail twitched. I didn’t want this! I mean sure me and Cedric had had our scuffles, but I never wished he was dead.

 Cedric’s grasp loosened on his primitive cat-torture tool. He stood still for a moment, obviously catching on to the fact I was behaving weirdly even considering I was about to be sprayed with water. After he gathered his courage or whatever he had been spending that moment doing, he turned slowly.

 Eye to eye with my interrogation officer, I knew he had to be terrified. Spork made no visible move. Its long tail whipped back and forth and a growl had begun to rumble in its throat. Cedric was in serious trouble and I had no way to help.