Qwuedeviv Crew 52: It's Just Like in the Movies!

 I was awake bright and early—I think noonish or so. I had already started the day out right by munching on a bowl of sugared flakes of Earthian meal and had every intention of going outside to frolic in the yard. The land serpent was out of commission after I had cut it open with the scissors the other day.

 Oh yeah, some time had gone by since the previous log but nothing had been particularly noteworthy. In fact, despite how intense and life changing the events that day should have been, life had gone completely back to normal. Mr. Smith had never hunted me down; Cedric hadn’t even asked me more about my resources and knowing such coded military language. No, he had more important things to rant about apparently.

 Things like telling me to clean up after myself. Wash the dishes. Use the lint brush on the chair if you’re going to insist on sitting on it. Wash your clothes every once in a while. Don’t stand on the table. Wash your paws, brush your teeth. Tooth paste isn’t an acid paste to ward off intruders. No, it doesn’t go on doorframes or in water to add flavor either.

It was just one thing after the next of don’t do this, don’t do that.

 “Smiley!!”

 I paused, paw still resting on the door. To ignore or not to ignore…

 “Yeaaah?”

 No response. I had learned that meant he wasn’t going to finish until I went and found him. I really didn’t understand that logic. I mean me and my crew yelled at each other all the time. In fact, we were really good at yelling at each other. Cedric needed to work on his quite a bit.

 When I arrived in the guest room—which is where he was in case you didn’t know—Cedric was standing near my bed—my cardboard box that is. It was filled with its usual plush pillow and pile of blankets. I smiled at it. Such a good bed.

 “I told you that you needed to start taking a little responsibility around here.”

 “I doooo. I wash the dishes.”

 “Lick the dishes. That is not clean.”

 “Picky.”

 “Look, is it so much to ask that you keep your room clean and not terrorize everything else in the house?”

 “Yes.”

 “Smiley…”

 “No.”

 “Then why is there torn up paper scattered from here clear out to the living room?”

 Hmm. Seemed Cedric was right. There were little torn bits of paper forming an artificial snowish barrier all around my box. It was pretty thick, gradually thinned as it made its way out of the room and down the hall and into the other room. What we had here was a top secret file; mysterious torn paper bits.

 “Maybe it was aliens.”

 Cedric gave me a rather incredulous stare as he lifted his glasses momentarily. “Yeah. I think you’re right. And I think its name is SMILEY.”

 “If it is, it’s purely coincidence.” I purred.

 “Smillllleeeeey.”

 “Whaaat? It’s true! I don’t have anything to do with—”

 “Smilllleeeeeey.”

 “Okay I might’ve had a little to do with it, but just very super tiny, hardly visible and not worth mentioningly connected to it.”

 “Smi—”

 “Okaaaay I had everything to do with it! But ya gotta understand. Caffeine that late at night is a disaster waiting to happen! You don’t know how many moths and shadows I hunted. You have no idea. I got bored.”

 He sighed and shook his head as he often did. “Look, just get it cleaned up.”

 “But housecats don’t clean up after themselves!”

 “You’re not a house cat!”

 “You said I was!” I insisted as I followed after him.

 “Ughh…you’re smarter than a house cat!” After a moment he added, “Debatably.”
 
 The phone rang then—my saving grace. I had been saved by the phone more times than I could count by now. Cedric was a popular person to a lot of people. After I had gotten my phone privileges taken away they also were a lot less angry. He never wanted to share any of his stuff.

 Well, while he rambled on the phone, it was the perfect time for me to slip outside. I crept out of my room and down the hall to the door at the front of the house. I had just reached it when I heard him call from the kitchen again. My ears folded down against my head as I rolled my eyes and turned. Cedric was quickly approaching.

 “I just got done telling you to clean up that—”

 “But Cedric…” I frowned and looked up at him sadly.

 “No. Now.”

 I heaved a sigh and sulked my way back towards the trail, occasionally glancing over my shoulder to see if Cedric looked like he had regretted being too tough on me yet. He didn’t. In fact he had the nerve to tell me I better hurry my furry behind up. How rude.

 I knelt down in the hall and started gathering up the small bits of paper. It was boring, and furthermore was not work fit for a lieutenant. It was horribly demeaning and I had reason to suspect would leave a scar for life.

 Once Cedric decided that I was working alright he announced that work had called him in that day. Today was normally a day off for him you see.

 “I’ll be back early this evening.” He turned towards me briefly as he was closing the door. “And you better have that all cleaned up by then.”

 “Yes your highness.” I grumbled as the door shut.

 I picked at a few more pieces of the paper but soon enough decided I had worked enough for the time being. I had a lot of hours until Cedric would return so I might as well head outside and enjoy a little fresh air. Fresh air is good for the body and mind.

The papers I had already picked up I set in a neat little pile and then scurried outside.

 Much of the fresh air I had previously mentioned existed outside. And there it was to greet me upon my triumphant exit. There and air. It was delicious. I stood near the railing of the deck for a bit where the sun was just catching some of my fur and giving it a fantastic coat of warmth.

 After a little bit I ventured down into the grassy part of the field; not the parts that are asphalt or cement for parking the car but the areas around it. The grass tended to home a lot of small Earthian bugs. These bugs were often fun to hunt and frighten as they would fly and provide an even more interesting chase.

 The delightful bugs were sparse during the midday sun though. I found a couple of the hopping kind and batted at them for a while—reminded me of my training back on Qwuh-9 except the two were nothing alike. Nevertheless, it was far more amusing than picking up papers—which of course I was still going to do later but…

 I turned around and nearly fell on Hindquarters. It was just like in the movies where everyone else notices the impending doom but you’re totally oblivious to it. How long had I been poking at those bugs? Why hadn’t I heard anything? And why was Mr. Smith suddenly standing mere feet away from me in my yard..?