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About Literature / Professional Official Beta Tester SmilehKitteh24/Female/United States Groups :iconqwuedeviv: Qwuedeviv
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Deviant for 7 Years
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My Various Species





Artist | Professional | Literature
United States

Fear Not Young Anchovies

Tue Jun 30, 2015, 11:21 PM

  I am not ignoring you all once again. And yes my messages have totally stacked back up to 2,000 over the weekend.
I am just relentlessly ILL. Like a 10 on a scale of 10 for pain and nothing is relieving it. |D That aside, I've also been busy with some prep work for AC coming along, gosh next week I think? Not that far off @ n @ I hope I start feeling better.

  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Suvivors
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: YOGURT
  • Drinking: Gatorade (Yay no longe boring!)

SmilehKitteh should work on.... 

84 deviants said The Shattermind Webcomic
38 deviants said Remaining Ref/Bios of the Qwuedeviv
35 deviants said The Coloring Book
17 deviants said Other (Write what that other is in the comments XP )
15 deviants said Ref/bios of the Deadlock species


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Artezia Featured By Owner 2 days ago  New Deviant Hobbyist Digital Artist
how are your animatins
so clean
SmilehKitteh Featured By Owner 5 hours ago  Professional Writer
Haha it's in the rare occasions I'm patient enough to follow thorugh with them XD
Artezia Featured By Owner 5 hours ago  New Deviant Hobbyist Digital Artist
they're so beautiful
you are now my senpai eeeeee
Se05239 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
I am going to write it here for everyone to see.

SmilehKitteh, I fucked up big time and made the gravest mistake I've ever done in my fucking life.
I admit completely that I did a mistake. Not just a mistake, THE mistake.
When you showed me the base for the commission you showed me, you presented me with a wonderful thing. I absolutely adored it but the power to influence its creation made me do wrong.
Not only did I demand modifications to the character itself to better suit the image I had in my own head. I also didn't realize that I forced you into uncomfortable territory. Completely blind was I to the fact that you have done your absolutely best and yet I went on and demanded more of you.

You tried to satisfy me and when you told me that the commission was taking too long to be worth it for you, I simply thought "well stop and move on to the next commissioner." In a flash, all your efforts had accounted for null.
You tried to justify your time spent in the commission by suggesting that it could be turned into fan-art but even that I simply showed aside and told you to move on to next commission. I fully suspect that this was the breaking point for you.

I am not going to justify my actions other than that in my own selfish train of thought, I believe I did nothing wrong. In fact, I did not believe anything bad had happened until I got a note from Le-Okami telling me that I had made cry over this. Only then I realized how bad things have gone.

If given the chance and allowed to go back and change, I would have without a doubt gone back and given you the thumbs up. Too late for that now. I am going to live with the consequences of my actions since it's too late to change anything. 
In the blink of an eye, I lost a friend whom I had a long relationship with. One I admired and looked up to. 
I do not believe that our friendship will ever be restored but I realize now how fucking stupid I am. Too late to save any fragment of it all.

I am never going to forgive myself for my actions and this will be a moment in my life I will never forget and will continue to haunt me til the day I am too senile to even remember my name. 
I can only really ask one thing of you.
Can you forgive me?
SmilehKitteh Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Professional Writer
To answer way quicker here, Basically yes. In a massive summary, yes. |D You hurt my feelings cause I was trying to be nice and still give you something so it came across like you were saying my art was too cruddy for you to imagine accepting as a gift. Which well for one hurt my feelings in the intent that I had been trying to do something nice even if it wasn't totally perfect cause I had worked hard on it and so forth and rather liked it. And yes I totally was crying. |D For quite awhile. I will admit you are the first and only who has managed to get me to say I am done with and am not talking to anymore and so forth.

  But brushing all that aside, if you're actually sorry and/or hadn't meant it like that, or didn't realize or whatever it may have been, I can forgive you. =. And yeaaaah I didn't feel like much of a friend. |D I had always thought we were friends but I dunno most of what you've said lately to me has been really mean so I got to thinking maybe it was one sided and that was kind of tipping the scale over so to speak and just became too much o3o Also I'm a rather forgiving person--I've got no issue with putting it in the past and carrying on as friends n so forth.
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